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Encountering refusal, especially when it occurs frequently, is anything but enjoyable. A publisher is saying no, delivering a definite “No.” Working in writing, I am well acquainted with rejection. I began submitting articles 50 years back, just after completing my studies. From that point, I have had several works rejected, along with nonfiction proposals and many essays. During the recent score of years, focusing on commentary, the refusals have only increased. In a typical week, I face a rejection every few days—totaling more than 100 annually. In total, rejections over my career run into thousands. Today, I might as well have a advanced degree in rejection.

However, does this seem like a self-pitying tirade? Far from it. Since, now, at seven decades plus three, I have accepted being turned down.

How Did I Achieve This?

A bit of background: By this stage, almost everyone and others has rejected me. I haven’t tracked my success rate—that would be deeply dispiriting.

A case in point: lately, a publication nixed 20 articles consecutively before saying yes to one. A few years ago, no fewer than 50 publishing houses vetoed my book idea before someone gave the green light. Later on, 25 literary agents declined a nonfiction book proposal. An editor requested that I send my work less frequently.

My Seven Stages of Rejection

In my 20s, each denial hurt. It felt like a personal affront. It was not just my work was being turned down, but myself.

Right after a piece was turned down, I would begin the phases of denial:

• First, disbelief. Why did this occur? Why would these people be ignore my talent?
• Next, refusal to accept. Maybe you’ve rejected the incorrect submission? It has to be an oversight.
• Third, rejection of the rejection. What do any of you know? Who appointed you to hand down rulings on my work? It’s nonsense and your publication is poor. I refuse this refusal.
• After that, anger at the rejecters, then frustration with me. Why would I do this to myself? Could I be a masochist?
• Fifth, bargaining (often seasoned with false hope). What does it require you to recognise me as a unique writer?
• Then, sadness. I’m not talented. Additionally, I’ll never be accomplished.

This continued for decades.

Excellent Examples

Of course, I was in fine fellowship. Tales of creators whose manuscripts was at first turned down are plentiful. The author of Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Almost every renowned author was initially spurned. Since they did persevere, then maybe I could, too. The basketball legend was cut from his youth squad. Most American leaders over the recent history had been defeated in campaigns. The actor-writer says that his Rocky screenplay and attempt to appear were declined 1,500 times. He said rejection as someone blowing a bugle to wake me up and keep moving, rather than retreat,” he has said.

The Seventh Stage

As time passed, when I entered my senior age, I entered the final phase of rejection. Understanding. Currently, I more clearly see the multiple factors why a publisher says no. Firstly, an editor may have just published a comparable article, or have one in the pipeline, or simply be considering something along the same lines for another contributor.

Alternatively, less promisingly, my submission is of limited interest. Or maybe the evaluator thinks I am not qualified or standing to fit the bill. Perhaps is no longer in the field for the content I am offering. Maybe was too distracted and read my submission hastily to appreciate its value.

Feel free call it an epiphany. Any work can be declined, and for numerous reasons, and there is pretty much not much you can do about it. Certain explanations for denial are forever not up to you.

Your Responsibility

Some aspects are within it. Honestly, my proposals may occasionally be flawed. They may lack relevance and impact, or the message I am struggling to articulate is poorly presented. Alternatively I’m being flagrantly unoriginal. Maybe a part about my punctuation, notably dashes, was unacceptable.

The point is that, in spite of all my decades of effort and setbacks, I have succeeded in being widely published. I’ve written several titles—my first when I was 51, my second, a autobiography, at retirement age—and more than a thousand pieces. These works have appeared in publications major and minor, in regional, worldwide platforms. My first op-ed appeared when I was 26—and I have now submitted to various outlets for half a century.

Still, no bestsellers, no book signings in bookshops, no appearances on talk shows, no speeches, no prizes, no big awards, no Nobel Prize, and no national honor. But I can better handle no at this stage, because my, small accomplishments have softened the blows of my setbacks. I can choose to be reflective about it all today.

Educational Setbacks

Setback can be instructive, but provided that you heed what it’s indicating. Otherwise, you will probably just keep interpreting no’s the wrong way. What insights have I acquired?

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